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Finding a Perfect Fit

By PAULA WELLNITZ


Have you ever tried to fit two pieces of anything together: e.g. stone, fabric, wood, etc., so that they would make a perfect whole, like a wall, a dress or whatever, sometimes it works out quite easily. Sometimes it take a lot of time, patience and skill.

I think this fitting together is symbolic of the relationship in a marriage. Some married couples adapt their individual differences to each other with comparative ease. Others have a great struggle to attain a successful marriage.

In putting together a stone wall or a dress, the adaptation, by chipping, gathering, overlapping comes from outside the part joined; from outside the object to be made. In marriage most of the work producing a strong, beautiful result comes from the two persons in the marriage. They work together:

1. by expressing their feelings, their needs,

2. by listening to their partner's expression of feelings,

3. by their willingness to change themselves,

4. by showing appreciation for the other as is, and as struggling to work out their relationship.

They work separately in being willing to change as necessary and good.

To be a real fit, this adaptation of the two people must be a relationship in which each is growing, becoming more the person he/she can be. It is a mutual search for ways to make their life together a healthful one. The basis for this is laid in the first years of marriage. The young couple needs to deliberately set aside time and energy to work at their relationship.

Through the wear and tear of years this "perfect fit" must be regularly readjusted. Therefore, couples of every age do well to check their life together from time to time. How about you?





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