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Just Stuff-by Gary Arrington


Every so often, one must reflect on the stupid things that one does in his life and today is the day when I am reflecting back on some of those things that I have done this past year. I would like to think that the following recant is fairly accurate but I must confess that I am fairly positive that I have forgot some of those things due to mental stress.

I am going to start with the latest, as it is fresh on my mind. Recently, after having resisted all previous temptation to go, plus months of reminders from my wife, I went Christmas shopping. Now most guys I know do not like shopping if it is not at the tool store or a sporting goods store. I am no different. If I end up shopping, it is usually go in, find your stuff and get out. Lingering is not allowed.

Well, I went shopping. Not here in Emery County and no, not even at Wal-Mart in Price. I went all the way in and went to the mall in Orem after going to Costco.

The only good thing that occurred the entire time was buying gas at $1.27 a gallon. That one thing thrilled me enough to keep my head above water.

I should have known not to go into Costco when there were no shopping carts available. That would have been a good warning if one had been paying attention to detail. There were times in that store that I felt like a minnow in a big school of fish.

I got what I needed to get and tried to get out as I was frazzled. I eventually made it out alive.

After then driving to the mall next door, I let my wife out and went to park. I told her I would see her on the other end. Wrong. I got to the other end and there was nowhere to park. I started working my way up and down the aisles and soon found myself back to where I let her off with no place to park.

After deciding to stay with the car and wait in the back 40, I was informed by cell phone that that was unacceptable as it was my fault that we were even there in the first place.

After parking close to Costco, I went into the mall. My first stop was in a store where I was the only male, that is always a weird feeling. I sucked it up, got what I wanted and left. After several more purchases, I left the mall satisfied with my purchases. I am not sure that my kids will be satisfied though. Oh well, I tried. They should like gift cards.

As we left one more store closer to the freeway, my wife informed me that we needed to return to the mall. WHAT? &%$%####. There was no way I was going back and I didn't. I think I was mentally incapable. After a lengthy conversation, she gave in and we continued on our way away from the people.

I was going to give you a list but I decided that shopping in the city the weekend before Christmas had to be all of the top five stupid things I did for the year. If I ever do it again, you can rest assured that Alzheimer's has set in.

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